Relationship Rescue and Healing

Fear of Intimacy

Most fear can be traced back to a common causality; the fear of intimacy. The fear of love has the effect of people hiding behind masks – a façade – that deprives the real person from being seen and fully known. The fear of sex has the effect of people substituting their longing for authenticity with simply the physicality of sex as an activity rather than an expression of communicating love. The fear of death is the ultimate fear of intimacy; the fear of letting go of individuality and merging – becoming one with an Other.  

When life’s experiences further compound the primordial cause of fear - consider for a moment the affects upon an individual of touch deprivation, lack of information, incorrect information, inappropriate modelling from mentors and teachers, repressive teaching from religions, pornography, physical abuse from parents or carers, sexual abuse, rape, violence, forced prostitution – it is little wonder that the fear of intimacy is pandemic. Even where the ‘symptoms’ appear to be physical, such as in cases of erectile dysfunction and ejaculation problems in men and painful sex or orgasmic dysfunction in women, the ‘release’ almost always comes when the patient experiences healing of the fear and anxiety surrounding intimacy itself.

Relationships are life’s University in Love.  It is in the context of relationships that we learn the best, and hardest, lessons in our journey of life.  Many couples separate or divorce without realising that the difficulties that they are experiencing will re-emerge in another situation unless they learn the lessons that the current relationship offers.  Love heals.  The most powerful elements that exist in the Universe are contained in the energy of love.  You would not know what love was, however, unless you had experienced elements of fear.  You could not recognise joy and happiness unless you experienced some sorrow and sadness.  This is the nature of our world in which duality appears as realities; this is why you have come to earth - that through the lessons of suffering duality brings, you can realise more fully your Divine nature.

Relationship Healing is not simply relationship counselling; come if you both want to rescue your relationship, but cannot currently see a way forward. 

 

“Then it was as if suddenly I saw the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts - the core of their reality,

the person that each one really is in God’s eyes. 

If only they could see themselves as they really are. 

If only we could see each other that way all the time,

there would be no more war, no more cruelty, no more greed…

I suppose the big problem would be that we would fall down and worship each other”.

Thomas Merton